I want to start with God, because that's where He should be - at the beginning. And in the middle. And at the end. But for now, we're just starting out, so we only have the beginning. Who knows where the middle will find us and what will be at the end? Only God. So we'll begin with God, too.
For eight months, I served as a student missionary in Eastern Europe under the title of ESL teacher. And in that time, my relationship with God grew and grew and grew, expanding like rising bread dough before you bake it and increasing in volume by immeasurable proportions. At the beginning, I was stupefied. In the middle, I was struggling. And at the end of my journey through the heart of Poland, I was satisfied but scared. Through those stupefied, struggling, satisfied yet scared moments, I had a lot of time to think. I also had a lot of time to read my Bible and I had a lot of time to pray. I found myself doing all three at various times throughout each and every day.
God spoke to me in several different ways while I journeyed my way through the past eight months. He was the voice inside my head. He was the peace that passes understanding. He was in my dreams. He was in my students. He was my Friend, my Confidant, my Father. He was the One who held my hand as I walked along the Baltic when I needed someone near. He filled me with love when I felt nothing inside. He picked me up when all I could do was crawl. He was the hand that wiped away my tears when no human comfort was present. He was my everything...
Now I am home in the United States and things are strained between me and God. Maybe "strained" isn't really a good word. I guess a better word would be "different". And as vague as that sounds, it's the closest word that explains how I feel, because I am still trying to figure out exactly what is different about my relationship with God.
Maybe you are wondering why I created this blog and why it is titled "Genesis, then Exodus." Let me fill you in.
The reasoning behind "Genesis": Everything has a starting point. With the exception of God, everything that is now in existence had to have begun somewhere. A flower starts from a seed, a puddle starts from a single drop of water, a house starts from a foundation being laid. And I had a starting point too. Some might say that I began to exist when my parents conceived me. Others might argue that I began to exist when my heart started beating. Still others will say that I began to exist when I gave my first cry and took my first full breath of oxygen. But I am convinced that I began to exist even before all three of those things took place. I began to exist in the mind of God, when He conceived me. And that has made all the difference.
The reasoning behind "...then Exodus": Once you have settled the "beginning" issue (that is, when you began to exist), then you are free to take your first steps. Baby steps though they might be, they are significant and they have the ability to lead you down roads you never would have traveled had you not stepped out and taken a chance. I believe that life is a journey and as such, you have the opportunity to make plans, to follow directions, and to meet people that will inevitably change your life forever.
Genesis, then Exodus. I could have also named it "The Beginning, then the Journey." But the previous sounded much cooler. :)
I have been thinking a lot about my relationship with God in recent days, weeks, months. And I'd like to write my own beginning, to look back on where I started from, to understand how God has moved in my life and has led me to where I am today and how He will lead me to where I will be tomorrow.
So, we started with God. And I plan to keep Him close by...
No comments:
Post a Comment